Jacob's world

well, i've been trying to figure out how to best use this blog. i'm not one to rant in writing, or spill my guts for anyone to see, so i wasn't sure i would even keep it. but, i've decided to start with Jacob's story. just a place to start.

Jacob came into this world under some stressful circumstances, but all in all, it went smoothly. we had only been married 6mo, & not an easy 6mo either. we were only 24 & 27, that seems so young to me now. with getting married, buying a house, & having a baby all in one year, it was pretty crazy.

i was induced on Dec 20, 2000. after a couple hours of labor & strong contractions, i was exhausted, drugged, & nothing was happening. when Jacob's heart rate started dropping during contractions, the dr decided to do c-section. his Apgar scores were both 9s though, so in spite of having the cord around his neck, everything looked good. we did struggle with breast feeding, but nothing unusual. then around 3mo, his right arm locked up against his chest. you couldn't even open his little fist. he would just lay on his arm & play with his left hand. i asked the pediatrician at his 3 mo checkup, & he just talked a little bit about "palsy", but didn't do anything. i called back the next day & told the nurse that i wanted testing, or something, done. she just told me to be patient. i was pissed. i took the evening to calm down, & decided to find a new dr the next day. well the next morning, 5 min after they openend, the nurse called me back & said the dr changed his mind, he did want us to bring Jacob in. he scheduled an MRI at Cooks Children's in Ft Worth.

So on the morning of June 29, 2001, we got up early & went to the hospital. we were told to keep him awake & not to feed him. that's fun with a 6mo old. by the time they were ready for us, he was soooo tired. they asked me to get him to sleep & then bring him in. hoping he would sleep through it & not have to be put under. he went right to sleep, but as soon as i laid him on that MRI table, his little eyes popped open. they calmly took him from us, & sent us on our way. needless to say, we were both freaked. Brett, like many men i think, got mad & tried to pick a fight with me. i think that's a man's way of distracting from his real emotions, but what do i know. i told him the worst thing we could do right now is fight. so we went to the hospital cafeteria & ate some nasty breakfast, without saying much to each other. i think it was an hour or so later, they called us back. he was waking up & in good spirits. he had had an IV in his little foot & a breathing tube, but didn't seem to mind. he was happily smiling at the nurses. they sent us home & told us it would be probably next week before we heard anything, unless it was pretty bad, in which case we'd hear something today or tomorrow. we took Jacob home, put him down for his nap, & Brett went to work. they called that afternoon.

(Little Bear is on tv right now. how funny is it that the snake's name is "No Feet"?? that's hilarious! but i digress....)

we didn't even know it was possible for babies to have strokes. we didn't know what it even meant. where do we start? it's funny, i look back on those days, & we were so clueless. i guess all parents are in the beginning, especially when dealing with something like this. we didn't have a neurologist yet, because we didn't know we needed one. of course they were all booked. we did get into one at Cooks that Aug, the earliest of any of them. well we didn't like him. but ya know, since then i've learned, does anyone ever like the first dr to tell you that your child will struggle with everything from walking to talking to behavior, for a long time, if not the rest of his life? i can't think of any of the families that i know, with kids with disabilities, that have been with only one neurologist since day one? our children's needs change, so we find the dr that suits that need for the time being. we left this particular dr, wanting to jump out the window. Brett, once again, was angry. there's that man thing again. we took separate cars that day, so on the way home, i kept telling myself, "this man saw our 9mo old baby, for 20 min. then he seemed to regurgitate medical terms, directly out of medical textbooks. now how could that be the only future Jacob could have?" i wasn't dwelling on that. we needed to find out what Jacob needed today. where do we start with this thing, this "60 to 70% of the left hemisphere of his brain was damaged in utero, sometime in the 3rd trimester" thing? well, you start with therapy. Physical, Occupational (whatever that means), & Speech therapy.

by this time, i was back to teaching 2nd grade. it was my 3rd year of teaching & i was finally catching on to what teaching meant to me. the therapists all went to the babysitter's house, which was right across the street from my school. so on my break, i would walk over & check it out. by sept/oct though, i was done with this. i told Brett, i wanted to stay home with Jacob. he panicked of course, but we talked about it, & i told my boss. she was incredibly understanding & helpful, which made it that much easier. so, on Dec 20, Jacob's 1st birthday, i taught for my last day. i do miss teaching, & plan to go back, but we'll save that for another time.

so Jacob & i dove into the world of therapy. first we drove to Ft Worth for therapy, then we heard about ECI. they came to the house, which was obviously way convenient. so a speech therapist started coming to the house one day a week. at this age, she mainly worked on feeding issues. a PT came to the house once a week, or maybe that was twice a week? i don't really remember. she worked on stretching, playing, crawling, pulling up, etc. the OT also came once or twice a week. she worked on his arm & playing, playing. we had sooo many toys in our house! it was great! Jacob was coming along well. i was figuring out this SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) thing, which i'm still doing.... lol.

i guess that's all for now, i should get some stuff done. the next big thing we had was eye surgery at 18 mo, but i'll save that for later. ttfn!